Z.Some things never change. Every time I go back to Kashmir, same things happen and they remind me of the good old days at home. For these little moments mean a lot and make me think that things like this should in fact never change.
*You walk past a bus overcrowded and the conductor calls you to board the bus saying…”Ath haz tcha seat paetkin “
* You are sitting on the back seat with three other people. There is hardly place for a kid, but one oversized aunty comes and tries to fit in with chuckles all around.
* Whenever you have no change to hand over to the bus conductor, it so happens that the bus conductor has absolutely no change at all.
* You stand up and walk all the way to the front door to get down and the conductor asks you “ Wasun tcha?”
* Your dinner host will tell you at the end of the dinner with a minimum of ten dishes, “ Aes aus ne syuni!!”
* “Akh Batte phol” will never mean “Akh batte phol” in
Kashmir. Neither will a “chai oud cup” be an “oud” cup.
* You get back home and your mom will ask you, “ Aaikhe?”
* You get back home after a year, hale and healthy, and your mom will go, “wyetch laedreaar tchui phuoormut”.
* There is a lot of salt in the “syun” and when you question your mom, she is like “ mei na trowoiee ne ath noonee”
* Your lane gets metalled after years. The very next month the waterworks and the telecom department come to lay down their lines digging everything up again.
* ‘Aoutreh’ never means day before yesterday. It could mean a week, a month, a year or even a decade depending upon the situation.
(Taken from an email – Copyright yembarzal – http://www.yembarzal.org)
-Kashmir- 
Oh It’s just fabulous and really hillarious but I cannot help but comment further on the last one as I have seen some odd reactions whenever I have spoken the “golden word”.
Outreh or Aoutreh… Oh there are so many funny tales associated with this word. But let me tell you about the odd looks that I get whenever I speak this word… I mean translation of outreh in Urdu (or Hindi) – Parsoon.
My friends are often dumb founded when I say “aree yaar parsoon hi aisa hua tha” when I am talking about the incident which has happened atleast a couple of months ago. Odd stares they really make you think – Do I still translate from Kashmiri to Urdu and then speak… I am happy I do not attempt such adventure while talking in English.
Juz A Kashmiri
I have had funny times with this word as well. My friend would always tell me that my parsoon would mean day before, week before or may be month before as well. So I guess I have been using it in the same context as we generally do in Kashmiri.
I am sure there are many more like this, we probably don’t even realise.
I get reminded of one, “Photo Uthao!!” – translation of “Photo tull”. I noticed this summer in Kashmir, almost 99 percent people say, “Photo Uthao”
Some more funny translations of Kashmiri -> Urdu
1. When you want to switch on a light we were told “talaa fan traav yella”. I once translated it as “Fan chhoro” and I was instantly queried.. Where to leave it? Needless to say I was embarassed.
2. And this is got to be the famous one… Heard on a Jawahar Nagar matador (ages ago) in Kashmir. One of the two college going girls while discussing some third girl said “Uski talks aa rahe hain”… Do I need to say the Kashmiri version?
3. And then this one which is a faux pas even in Kashmiri – Imagine you have invited ur friend over a dinner… Syunn is zombra-thool… What do u tell him when you actually want him to have one more egg. Think and u will get the answer.
Till I get back,
Juz A Kashmiri
Atleast a post that brings smiles on our faces.
‘beh khaimeh pathreh’ translates to ‘mein pathar khawuga’
‘tchamnih deh chakal karith’ translates to ‘paneer ko chakal kar kay deido’
‘talah tchupp kar’ translates to ‘zara chup karou’ – which I think is not correct in Urdu.
I think I love the bus ones too 🙂
The bus conductors have unique ways of addressing people, most of them based on the age group and gender they belong to.
A few that I have heard:
Chacha ( old man )
Shoosha ( little kid )
Mouji ( old lady )
Benni ( young lady )
Totha ( really old man )
Rearraging people in the bus to get the best possible ( I call it interference fit ) fit. And whenever a lady boards the bus, “Ladies ( pronounced laDDies ) trayew jaai”
And then their favorite lines, ” Pakhaz path path “, “Khashaz aur kyun”
The one that always gets a chuckle on my face though is the one already mentioned in the post. You get up from a seat or make your way through to the front and the conductor asks “Wasun cha?”
At a wedding in Kashmir, I was one of the workforce. Among other things, one important job was to make mass-beds for all the guests staying overnight. As it started getting late, an old lady got rather impatient. Sensing me to be of the class that that only converses in the “Talks aati hain” dialect, she requested: “Beta zara ab bistar chhodo.”
Paradous : Your experience is new to me !
You all must have surely heard, “Darwaaza do” .
I guess we are moving away to urdu now rather than bringing forth the humor in very general kashmiri statements. I am sure there are lots more, but I cannot recall them now.
Please feel free to contribute!
Here you go :
A kashmiri who did not have “batta” ( rice ) for lunch, would say at the end of the day :
” Mei tchu ne keheen khyomut” Even if his lunch comprised of all kinds of food other than batta, lunch is not lunch unless it is rice!
This post has been submitted to the magazine Yembarzal by its actual author( http://www.yembarzal.org ). You can read other stuff about Kashmir as well at Yembarzal.
Wow, I am so thankful I stumbled upon this, because in the beginning of my wedding planning it provides me with so much information to be able to organise my event!
Outreh or Aoutreh… Oh there are so many funny tales associated with this word. But let me tell you about the odd looks that I get whenever I speak this word… I mean translation of outreh in Urdu (or Hindi) – Parsoon.